ひきポス -ひきこもりとは何か。当事者達の声を発信-

『ひきポス』は、ひきこもり当事者、経験者の声を発信する情報発信メディア。ひきこもりや、生きづらさ問題を当事者目線で取り上げます。当事者、経験者、ご家族、支援者の方々へ、生きるヒントになるような記事をお届けしていきます。

Interview with a French Hikikomori, Guido. Round 4 "Did He Become a Hikikomori with Conviction?"

f:id:Vosot:20180129164502j:plain

"La Rue Montlosier, Clermont-Ferrand", Photo by Wikipedia
Guido:"Adjacent lane where my ophthalmologist is located"

  

Interviewed and edited by Vosot Ikeida

 

 

Until "Round 3", I have serialized an interview with the French hikikomori, Guido, which you can find the English version as below.

Round 1 "Even Hikikomori Can Have Love Life!"

Round 2 "Can a Hikikomori be Reintegrated to the Society?

Round 3 "Leave Me Alone. I Love Being a Hikikomori!"

 

Thanks to all the readers, we have received many comments. Amongst them, there was a comment like this:

Guido has become a hikikomori with conviction.
He wanted to become a hikikomori, and he has become the one, hasn't he?

Well, that's not incomprehensive that you interpret in this way, because Guido himself says at the end of Round 3  :

 
I love loneliness. I love being a hikikomori.
 

However, is it appropriate to think that he has become a hikikomori with his "conviction" ?

I do care about his point, because I often hear people say to me, "You're a hikikomori with conviction, so you're different from me."

I have a feeling of incongruity when other hikikomoris close the door against me in this way.

What is this strange feeling?

To find it out, I did an additional interview with Guido:

 

Vosot: 

They say, "Guido has become a hikikomori with conviction".

Personally, I cannot help feeling a light incongruity, because I am often said the same thing. 

You and me have this point in common. This is an important problem. So, I am going to project your case with my own feelings. If my interpretation does not reflect your case, do tell me.

My discomfort comes from here. If we say "Guido has become a hikikomori with conviction", it would mean: "You wanted to be a hikikomori with your will, and as a result, you managed to become one."

Obviously, you love being a hikikomori. But, if we add to that: "He became a hikikomori with conviction", that would be too simplistic, I think. 

My interpretation is as follows: You did not aim to be a hikikomori. You did not have vocation to be hikikomori. In other words, becoming a hikikomori was not a goal for you at first. You have not committed yourself to becoming a hikikomori, although you can commit to being the one now. 

You tried to adapt yourself to the society of "normal people" as much as you could, but you did not succeed. The process of adaptation was filled with pain.

So, you thought a lot about the cause of this failure. In this analysis, you objectified and analyzed all the characters of yourself and the characters of the society of "normal people".  You compared both elements and rationally concluded that you were more comfortable to be a hikikomori. You accepted the fact that you could not be part of the society of "normal people" and you decided to stay outside as a hikikomori.

The part of this acceptation sounds to be "the conviction" to the ears of the commenters, I suppose.

I do not want you to take this as an interview oriented. Do not be influenced by my hypothesis, and let me hear your own opinion, please. 

f:id:Vosot:20180129165405j:plain

"La Place de Jaude de Nuit, Clermont-Ferrand", Photo par Wikipédia

Guido: 

Your interpretation is quite right, Vosot.

I wish I could integrate, have a nice social life, a girlfriend in real life, a place in the society. 

I have always wanted to be a politician or a scientist. I would have liked to put my intelligence in use for something concrete. But the external world is unfortunately far from this idyll that I had represented myself.

I don't think I am weak, I don't think I reclused myself just because I'm not strong enough to survive. I have become like me now simply because I find this world completely empty of interest.

Suddenly, afterwards, my "goal" has become being an independent hikikomori so as not to suffer anymore from the stupidity of this world. In truth, what terrifies me is, more than people, just the endless idiocy of the people. 

 

 

To the French Version  of this article

To the Japanese Version of this article